(Original English. Spanish Translation is at the bottom)
Hey Tes. This post is for you, Luciana Tesala Stone Corrales, so you can know a little bit about our family story, from your earliest days of life, and so you can have an easy way to contact me. I posted a unique picture of your Mother on our wedding day, so that you know that it’s really me writing this.
(I’ve translated portions of this to Spanish, which is at the bottom of the page, in case your Mother did the additional disservice to you of not allowing you to learn English. However, I won’t always update everything that I write in the English section to Spanish, immediately. If you don’t speak English, you can always use Google Translate or ask me to send you a translation. The English version is the current version.)
The first I heard about you was when your Mother told me over the phone, “I don’t love you anymore, I want a divorce, and I’m pregnant.” I had no warning, and this occurred 3 months after your Mother went back to visit her side of the family in Peru.
I wish so much that I was in your life, and we all could be together as a family, but sadly, your Mother never wanted that.
I don’t know if it was things that your Mother said, to turn her side of the family against me, or if it was her side of the family that turned your Mother against me, but either way, the results were awful for all of us. My guess is that it’s a little bit of both, but mostly the latter. Over the phone, towards me, Lucia quickly became a permanent, shallow, selfish, vindictive, and angry person. I was not able to convince her to follow our original plan of spending time in the US to save money, and then buy a house and live in Peru. It was like she was totally brainwashed in just 3 months, so I flew down to Peru be there for your birth and to see what was going on.
I was so happy that you were born, and that your Mother survived the unnecessary c-section, but I was very sad that your Mother had not taken any of my advice, in regards to your care. I was shocked and horrified at how poorly your Mother and her side of the family treated me for the weeks that I was there. I was even more disappointed and shocked at how your Mother and her side of the family treated you.
It’s super-sad that no one on your Mother’s side of the family was able to give basic, intelligent, maternal advice to your Mother, that she followed.
Lucia made it clear that she had no intention of sharing parenting responsibilities with me, her Husband and your Father; she simply wanted money from me and nothing else. It was a baffling, and very traumatic experience for me. I pray that Lucia has learned to treat you better than she treated you and me when we were last together.
I left Peru with hope that Lucia would come to her senses, even though Lucia kept little contact with me. I would call the house frequently to see how you were doing and see what your Mother was doing to bring our family back together. On the rare occasion that I could get a hold of your Mother, she only wanted to insult me and talk about how much money she wanted.
Every conversation was only about money for your Mom, and every conversation for me, was about how we could all be a normal family again. Lucia seemed to think that incessantly insulting me over the phone would get me to give her money, so most of our “conversations” were just your Mother throwing insults. You can imagine how conversations go, between two people with totally different priorities; with no compromise on Lucia’s side, no progress could be made.
Your Mother made it clear with her actions that she had no respect for my rights as your Father, and with her words, she lied and pretended that I could see you, as long as I paid her money and did what she wanted. She also constantly said we would never be a family, again. That was all morally wrong and unacceptable to me. Your Mother has lots of excuses for her bad behavior and lies, but none of them are valid; I’ve heard them all. When one fabricated excuse didn’t make sense, she just made up another one.
However, I assumed that at some point your Mother would still come to her senses and be willing to reconcile whatever she was so angry about. I waited years for her to come around, and to see you again, but that didn’t happen. She just stayed the same or got worse, and never recovered. She wasn’t the same woman I married.
A Father that cared so much about his Daughter and Wife, was clearly not what your Mother and her side of the family wanted, or expected, because after a couple years, they started hanging up on me as soon as they knew it was me calling.
A few years after that, your Mother severed contact with me, completely, along with nearly her entire side of the family.
After waiting years and realizing how bad of a person Lucia had become, I had few options to help you. Because you were born in Peru, the lawyers in Peru and the US, said there really wasn’t anything I could do, as long as Lucia held you hostage. Due to unfair laws in Peru, and your Mother’s bad behavior, I was not able to overcome your Mother’s intentional and ongoing sabotage of our family. I did not see any value in winning a years-long legal case against your Mother, if the results would still be that Lucia didn’t want to be a family.
Even while your Mother worked hard to undermine our family, I did everything in my power to be a part of your life in a way that was only a net benefit to you. Every benefit I agreed to, including things as simple as paying for your private schooling or taking you on a trip to Disneyworld, Lucia ultimately refused, even though she is the one that asked for these things.
I have no doubt that you have been indoctrinated into thinking you shouldn’t contact your Father. After all, your Mother is a Child Psychologist which is terrifying in of itself, but you have also been surrounded by some close family members that likely support whatever narratives your Mother wants, which makes escaping those narratives even more difficult. You do have some good people on your Mom’s side of the family, and I hope they have influenced you enough that you can think for yourself, even if just a little bit.
Just know that what your Mom did and does, is not your fault. Even though you likely feel that it’s your choice whether to contact me or not, realize that it’s your Mother who has forced silence and separation upon us for all these years. I pray that she has not fabricated any mental illnesses on to you (Munchausen syndrome by proxy), and drugged you up like so many Mothers often do in America, which I would not put past Lucia, due to her affinity and submission to “doctors” of any kind.
You can contact me anytime you want, for any reason, with or without your Mom’s consent. You are my Daughter, too. My Spanish isn’t as good as yours and your English isn’t as good as mine, but translation tools are easily available nowadays, so don’t worry about the language barrier.
You have a Father, that loves you, and I am here for you, as I have always been.
I love you, no matter what happens.
I look forward to hearing from you soon, seeing you again, catching up on all the time we missed together, and also having you spend time with my side of your family.
You can contact me through this website, also at TesalaStone @ gmail.com (without the spaces), or a number of other websites using my full name, which you can easily find online.
Your Father,
-Erik Stone
(Spanish Google Translation)
Hola Tes. Esta publicación es para ti, Luciana Tesala Stone Corrales, por si alguna vez puedes conocer a tu padre y quieres conocerlo.
La primera vez que supe de ti fue cuando tu madre me dijo por teléfono: “Ya no te amo, quiero el divorcio y estoy embarazada”. No me avisaron, y esto ocurrió tres meses después de que tu madre regresara a visitar a su familia en Perú.
Ojalá estuviera en tu vida y pudiéramos estar juntos como familia, pero tu madre no lo quiso.
(He traducido partes de esto al español, por si tu madre te hizo un flaco favor al no permitirte aprender inglés. Sin embargo, no siempre actualizo inmediatamente todo lo que escribo en la sección de inglés. Si no hablas inglés, puedes usar el Traductor de Google o pedirme que te envíe una traducción. La versión en inglés es la actual).
No sé si tu madre mintió para poner a su familia en mi contra, o si fue su familia la que la puso en mi contra, pero el resultado fue terrible para todos. Por teléfono, Lucía se convirtió rápidamente en una persona superficial, egoísta, vengativa y enojada.
Me alegré mucho de que hubieras nacido, pero me entristeció mucho que tu madre no hubiera seguido ninguno de mis consejos sobre tu cuidado. Volé para verte y ver qué pasaba. Me impactó y horrorizó lo mal que me trataron tu madre y su familia durante las semanas que estuve allí. Me decepcionó y me impactó aún más cómo te trató tu madre y su familia.
Es muy triste que nadie de tu familia materna pudiera darle consejos básicos, inteligentes y maternales.
Lucía dejó claro que no tenía intención de compartir las responsabilidades de crianza conmigo, su esposo y tu padre. Lucía solo quería dinero de mí y nada más. Fue una experiencia desconcertante y muy traumática para mí. Rezo para que Lucía haya aprendido a tratarte mejor de lo que nos trató a ti y a mí la última vez que estuvimos juntos.
Durante años después de tu nacimiento, Lucía mantuvo poco contacto conmigo. Llamaba a casa con frecuencia para ver cómo estabas y qué estaba haciendo Lucía para reunificar a nuestra familia. En las raras ocasiones en que podía contactar con tu madre, solo quería hablar de cuánto dinero le enviaría, y no de cómo estabas. Para tu madre, todas las conversaciones eran solo sobre dinero, y para mí, todas las conversaciones eran sobre cuándo querría tu madre volver a ser una familia normal y sobre lo que hacían. Lucía parecía creer que insultarme sin parar por teléfono me haría darle dinero, así que la mayoría de nuestras “conversaciones” eran solo insultos de tu madre. Tu madre se negaba a contarme casi nada sobre ti. Puedes imaginarte cómo son las conversaciones entre dos personas con prioridades totalmente diferentes; sin un acuerdo por parte de Lucía, no se podía avanzar.
Tu madre dejó claro con sus actos que no respetaba mis derechos como padre, y con sus palabras, mintió y fingió que podía verte siempre que le pagara y hiciera lo que ella quería. También dijo que nunca volveríamos a ser una familia. Todo eso era moralmente incorrecto e inaceptable para mí. Tu madre tiene muchas excusas para su mal comportamiento y sus mentiras, pero ninguna es válida; las he oído todas. Cuando una excusa inventada no tenía sentido, simplemente inventaba otra.
Sin embargo, supuse que en algún momento tu madre entraría en razón y estaría dispuesta a reconciliar lo que la enojaba tanto. Esperé años a que cambiara de opinión y te volviera a ver, pero no sucedió. Simplemente siguió igual.
Un padre que se preocupaba tanto por su hija y su esposa, claramente no era lo que tu madre y su familia querían, o esperaban, porque después de un par de años, empezaron a colgarme en cuanto supieron que era yo quien llamaba.
Un par de años después, tu madre cortó el contacto conmigo por completo, junto con casi toda su familia.
Después de esperar años y darme cuenta de lo mala persona en que se había convertido Lucía, tenía pocas opciones para ayudarte. Como naciste en Perú, los abogados en Perú y Estados Unidos dijeron que realmente no podía hacer nada mientras Lucía te tuviera como rehén.
Mientras tu madre se esforzaba por socavar a nuestra familia, yo hice todo lo posible por formar parte de tu vida de una manera que solo te beneficiara. Lucía rechazó todos los beneficios que le ofrecí. Debido a las leyes injustas en Perú y al mal comportamiento de tu madre, no pude superar su sabotaje intencional a nuestra familia.
No me cabe duda de que te han inculcado que no debes contactar a tu padre. Al fin y al cabo, tu madre es psicóloga infantil, lo cual ya de por sí es aterrador, pero también has estado rodeada de familiares cercanos que probablemente apoyan las narrativas que tu madre quiere, lo que dificulta aún más escapar de ellas. Tienes un par de buenos familiares por parte de tu madre, y espero que te hayan influenciado lo suficiente como para que puedas pensar por ti misma, aunque sea un poco.
Solo recuerda que lo que tu madre hizo y hace no es culpa tuya. Aunque probablemente sientas que es tu decisión contactarme o no, recuerda que es tu madre quien te ha impuesto el silencio y la separación durante todos estos años. Rezo para que no te haya inventado ninguna enfermedad mental (síndrome de Munchausen por poderes) ni te haya drogado como tantas madres suelen hacer en Estados Unidos.
Puedes contactarme cuando quieras, por cualquier motivo, con o sin el consentimiento de tu madre. Mi español no es tan bueno como el tuyo y tu inglés no es tan bueno como el mío, pero hoy en día hay herramientas de traducción disponibles, así que no te preocupes por la barrera del idioma.
Tienes un Padre que te ama, y yo estoy aquí para ti, como siempre lo he estado.
Te amo, pase lo que pase en nuestras vidas.
Espero tener noticias tuyas pronto, volver a verte, ponernos al día con todo el tiempo que perdimos juntos y también que conozcas a mi familia mientras aún viva.
Puedes contactarme a través de este sitio web, también en TesalaStone @gmail.com (sin los espacios) o en otros sitios web usando mi nombre completo, que puedes encontrar fácilmente en línea.