I wrote and rewrote my original letter to you (now “Classic”), many times, over more than a decade. If you haven’t read it, start there, because it’s just the tip of the iceberg.
You should first know at least a minuscule part of your past if you want to attempt to understand your future.
Since you are an adult now, even though you still have a lot to learn, and unlearn, I can write to you as an adult.
I’m no longer concerned about what Lucia Paola Corrales Ortega will do to hurt you, based on what I say (but she will still try), so I can share more information than I could before. Intentionally raising a child without their father for Lucia’s insane, selfish reasons, is a level of malice and neglect that is hard to beat. The damage she did, has been done.
However, you are the one that has power over her, finally, and you need to learn that as soon as possible, if you haven’t already.
I‘m very sad that you haven’t contacted me, yet. I know all the possible reasons, which is why it’s so heartbreaking.
I understand that you feel bound by your mother’s restrictions and conditioning against me. That’s expected. I had hoped that by the time you were 10 years old, I would have heard from you, but I guess your mom planned this destruction for us, long before I figured out what she was doing, even though I knew it was a possibility. I honestly didn’t think your mother would be as bad as she became, but I hope you’ve taught her a lot and that she was capable of learning as least the very basics of being a good mother, which was not the case when you were born.
I’ve worried for you, your whole life. My only consolation is that it’s still possible that you are a good and smart person, and not totally destroyed and deranged by your mother. If you are smart and haven’t been completely destroyed by her, please contact me. It’s not difficult anymore, even if Lucia has made it difficult for you, for your whole life.
I remember when I saw you last; she had no regard for you as a baby. When she thought you were sick and I was in Arequipa, she and your grandmother took you to a doctor without even calling me and telling me. The doctor had no care for you, and stretched you out on a wooden board. He hurt your legs and arms while you were crying, to measure your length. The doctor treated you like an animal and your mother and grandmother said nothing. Then the doctor prescribed medication while you were only two weeks old. It was sick and horrific. I yelled a lot at Lucia about this. I was furious, especially because you weren’t sick. Your mother had postpartum health anxiety by proxy, but even your grandmother was a terrible grandmother in this instance and may have promoted the visit to the doctor.
The first thing a mother should do if they think their child is sick is talk about it with the father and more importantly, her husband, and make decisions together.
It’s dark stuff. It still upsets me to this day. I expect the doctors not to care, but I don’t know how a mother and a grandmother can treat a newborn baby in such an uncaring way. I hope me scolding Lucia for this made a positive difference, but I worry that you were probably neglected or negligently harmed for many years of your life, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was horrific for me, but I hope you will one day tell me that it wasn’t as bad for you as I imagine it was.
One thing that seems to be true, is that you’ve been forcibly kept off social media, entirely. I think that will benefit you greatly in life. Your mother and I agree on this, even if our reasons for agreeing on this are totally different.
She kept you off social media, to keep total control of you and to hurt us both. That is a bad reason, but it’s her reason.
My reason and the benefit, is that you’ve had a chance to interact with people in real life, more than most at your age, and not get sucked into the derangements that have been going on in social media for your whole life.
People like your mom can get sucked into listening to “doctors” and then mutilating their own kids into deranged trannies or drugging them up into having permanent brain damage. It’s pretty horrific. At one time, I never would have thought your mother could get sucked into something like that, but she always did have a thing for doctors. If a doctor told her that taking cyanide would be good for her, she would do it. She would always take any drug a doctor told her to take. I hope she didn’t pass that idiocy on to you and force you to take drugs whenever you got sick. I expect that she did, but a father can hope.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at Lucia’s love for medical malpractice, because the first time she got pregnant, she miscarried after 6 weeks after returning back to Peru. It wouldn’t surprise me if she or Eliana forced a miscarriage. Lucia and I were very upset about it. I was upset, because Lucia’s behavior for going back to Peru was strange and suspicious, and we both knew she was pregnant that first time. Lucia claimed that she needed the support of her family in Peru, and it’s true that she would get more support in Arequipa from her extended family than she would get from being home alone while I’m working during the day.
First pregnancy miscarriages often happen naturally, but with Lucia’s behavior with you, I wonder what really happened. Before your mother and I got married, I insisted that I ask your grandfather Efrain, your mother’s father, for a blessing. He was an aloof, but charismatic, sleaze-ball, as your mother and grandmother always had said, so that was a surprise. Eliana never blessed Lucia’s and my marriage, and Lucia returned to Peru after getting pregnant, both times, so I will never know for sure what really happened. Looking back on it all, it’s clear that Lucia had a plan, and she was consistent with it. It was not the plan that she and I had agreed to. Her plan was clearly to get pregnant and then go back to Peru. I just hadn’t met a woman like that before, so I didn’t know, and it still shocks me today. She wanted pregnancies, and she wanted them with me, but she didn’t want them in the US. She wanted them in Peru. I trusted your mother and I loved her, which is why I married her, but she lied to me so many times. I initially thought the first lies were just mistakes or maybe a language barrier, and there may have been some of that, but there was clearly more to her goals and desires that she wasn’t telling me.
Some other things that you should know. “Care” as your mother likes to call “money”, has never been an issue for you. Your mother knows this, but she fights hard to pretend that her choice to leave me and isolate you was not her doing. It’s absurd. She wants you to think that I never provided money or “care” for you, which is utterly false. It’s a pretty evil thing for a mother to lie about and engrain in a child, but I have no doubt that she has successfully lied to you about this, for many years. I expected that, but all the while she was lying to you, she wouldn’t let me spend any time with you. She was still trying to extort me for money, and she always prevented and abhorred, actual care for you. She prevented you from having the best care that a child deserves, which includes having your mother and father raise you in a committed relationship.
Your mother has chosen an evil path for herself; she didn’t have to. You have not yet chosen a path; you have just been forced down one. Do not believe your mother’s lies about me not caring or not being willing to pay for your upbringing or whatever other nonsense she has come up with over all these years. I’m sure that she has layers upon layers of lies at this point, in this regard. Her lies are core to the relationship she has with you, and core to the relationship she has manipulated between you and me, so the truth is probably not something she will ever be willing to concede, even in old age. I’ve seen this before, with my own mother.
My role at this point, is to make sure you are ready for adult life.
I hope you had a good-enough life and want to be and do better. Come spend time with me and the rest of your family. Your cousins will likely be around, but your Grandmother, Grandfather, won’t be around if you wait too long. Your aunt would like to meet you, too.
I travel a lot, but it’s never been an issue for you to come visit me wherever I am, except for you mother preventing you, mentally. She has always been your only obstacle for us spending time together.
I always wanted to raise you. I always wanted Lucia to be a good wife, a good person, and a good mother. I always wanted to have a normal family with the three of us, more siblings for you, and our extended families. The hurt from your mother is still present for me, sometimes, but I hope you can put your hurt that you mother fabricated, away for a bit, and deal with it once we are in contact again.
Your mother hurt me, yes. She lied to me, many times, yes. I forgive her for that, but I’m not sure I can forgive her for what she did to you and our family. No one should have to go through their whole life without their father. You’ve been forced to do that, so far, only because your mother desired that, and that is a horrible reason. You never deserved that, and now, at your age, you finally have the ability to change it. Change it. Make up for your mother’s mistakes. Don’t perpetuate them.
As always, I can’t wait to hear from you, to see you, to know you, and to help however I can.
Your Dad,
-Erik Stone